I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
