is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
