guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
