i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
