I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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