I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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