I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
