She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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