At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
