I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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