And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
