hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
