Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
