Your dad touched me again.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
