So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
