and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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