Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
