nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
