Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
