I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
