Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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