Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
