You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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