So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
