I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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