If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
