apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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