Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
