So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
