so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
