Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
