We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
