i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
