Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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