smell my finger.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
