You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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