i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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