did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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