i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
