You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
