Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
