he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
