belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
