Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
