My pussy is not your playground.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
