I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
