Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
