You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
