The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
