Yo dont text me then not text me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
