Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Houston, we have a squirter
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
